Bush and Abdullah Announce Wedding!

President Bush announces wedding to Prince Abdullah

That “sanctity of marriage” stuff was just b.s., Prez declares

In a stunning development today, President Bush announced his engagement to Prince Abdullah of Saudi Arabia. The royal couple plans to wed in Massachusetts “as soon as we can get our license!” said Bush. Asked about his previous statements declaring that marriage was a sacred institution between a man and a woman, Bush said, “Aw, that was just bullshit. I thought it might pump up my approval rating a few points.”

The proclamation ended weeks of speculation surrounding the two. Ever since they shared an intimate night and day on April 25 at the President’s love-nest in Crawford, TX, rumors have been flying that more than just a love of oil and oppression united them. Sources report that they’ve “never seen him happier” than the time he spent with the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia at the ranch. From romantic walks holding hands to frolicking in the pool to a candle-lit dinner, the two men “were hardly ever apart.”

The joy both men felt was palpable at the announcement, and they celebrated with a gentle kiss. Reaction from Washington and the nation was mostly stunned disbelief. Vice-President Cheney rallied to support his Commander-in-Chief, saying, “Well, I’ve already got a lesbo daughter, so a gay President doesn’t faze me. As long as he keeps his hands off my ass.” Reporters tried to get a statement from House leader Tom “Ethics are for the Little People” DeLay, but were unable to reach him at an important summit meeting being paid for and held by the Wealthy Caucasian Association of America at an exclusive Mediterranean resort in Mykonos, Greece.

Left out of the entire fanfare were Laura Bush and the four unnamed, unknown, unappreciated wives (property) of Prince Abdullah. One report is that the urgency to ram Republican judicial nominations through is in order to pave the way for Bush’s control of the Federal courts, thus allowing him to have his marriage to Laura easily annulled. Failing this, a new Constitutional amendment is being proposed that would give full power to the President to switch partners at any time for any reason. The wives of Abdullah are of less concern, as they can easily be sold off or traded in for other valuable prizes at any time under “modern” Saudi law.